Take Off

Today Mike's Aunt Annie is coming into town for the Thanksgiving holiday and as usual we scurry around to get the house looking spotless...and that hit me today....WHY do we do this?

We put so much pressure on ourselves to make the house look immaculate when in reality most people "live" in their houses meaning...it's never spotless or white glove clean.

I don't know about other houses but ours is lived in. We have a teenager and a toddler living under this roof and it never stays "clean"; it stays picked up and tidy. That is all I can do. Yes, I am blessed with a housekeeper but honestly my house is a disaster 2 days after she visits.

Well, back to Annie, we are excited about her arrival. We have not seen her since Brody was a few months old. So it will be nice to see her this evening. Mike is beside himself he loves her to death and considers her a mother figure. She has been there for him a lot the past 20 years. He enjoys her company and she brings a piece of his "home" with her....and we all need that around the  holidays.

So with that being said, I better stop the blog so I can finish up some things around the house ;)

All Systems: Slow Down

Wow, where has this year gone?!?! I feel like time has flown by and now the holidays are fastly approaching us! Next week is Thanksgiving.....eeeeekkk.

This is really a random post because our life has been a whirlwind the past couple of months. I am honestly ready for things to slow down so I can enjoy the holidays and not feel so rushed. However, I don't think that is going to happen.

We started out the month attending my Dad's annual Hospice Charity concert and as usual it was a success and fun was had by all that attended. The music played and the wine poured freely. They raised money for a great cause and people were already signing up for next years even tickets. Can't go wrong with that. I am so proud of my Dad and his band for doing this. Hospice is such an amazing organization and it's something that you can fully appreciate until your family has to use their services. We have had to use them twice and each time I walked away with a new found respect for the nurses and staff that work within the organization. They truly are miracle workers.

We cleaned out Pappaw's house while we were there for the concert and rented a truck to bring back a few items that were left for me. My grandmothers dining room set, a bedroom set and some other miscellaneous things. All reeked of cigarette smoke so we spent most of Saturday bathing the furniture (and ourselves) in Murphy's Oil and Liquid Gold. I smelled like cleaning supplies for two days. We already have the dining room set in  the house and every time I walk in there I smell my Mammaw & Pappaw's "house". It's kind of weird but comforting feeling. I know my Mammaw would be happy that her set will still be used for holiday dinners. I am actually excited about using it this Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had to get the chairs recovered because the fabric was old and smelly so those cushions will be done today and I am looking forward to seeing what they look like when I pick them up :)

This past weekend we went and saw our neighbors children compete in their YMCA soccer tournament. We have the best neighbors and we try to support them and their children. It was a perfect fall day and they did a great job. They won their first game but lost and fell out of the tournament during the second game. They played hard and we enjoyed watching them since we are a soccer family....Vic's soccer conditioning as a FRESHMAN will start in a few short weeks. Say what?!?!??? My kids are growing up entirely too fast....TIME SLOW DOWN, PLEASE!

I have been spending the past few Mondays at Morningside Elementary School tutoring children that come from lower class homes that do not get the support they need at home. Either they come from a broken home, their parents are not able to help them or far worse; their parents aren't around. I have truly enjoyed my Monday mornings with my two little boys Juaneye and Jordan. They light up when they see me walk into the classroom and that makes my day. I was able to volunteer through our church. It's a great mentoring project that helps our community and that is what First United Methodist Church is all about; giving back to the community.

I am SUPER excited about Thursday because I will be attending the Stewart & James holiday show. Kristen and Arre Fuller always have amazing frames and all are unique and one of a kind. They are a little pricey but you know you are getting a one of a kind reclaimed wooden frame. I have several around the house and I always love to add more to my "collection". It's a nice night to get out and have girl time with wine and cheese. It's an event I look forward to every fall.

Well, I will wrap it for now because I have been in my PJ's too long! It's time to get dressed and try to get some things done today!! I do have another recipe to add so be looking for that one to be added to my blog later in the week.

What's so special about a number?

I have asked myself quiet frequently what is so important about a telephone number? I mean it's just a number, right? The more I thought about it the sadder I became because the number I had on my mind was 782-6320. That set of  numbers I have dialed a million times but in a matter of one day, I no longer had a reason to call because my "reason" no longer resided at that number. Heartbreaking. I can remember calling that number as a little girl excited to ask my Mammaw & Pappaw if I could spend the night or if they could come get me so I could come play. I would call them with exciting news from school like good report cards or receiving special awards.

As I got older the questions turned into what time do I need to be there for lunch or dinner. I ate at my grandparents house every day for lunch once I went to college and Sunday dinners were a must....you did not miss those.

Once I moved out on my own the calls were to confirm if I was coming over for lunch on my lunch break at work. Mammaw always cooked for me if I was coming and I was a permanent fixture at their dinner table Monday - Friday until my Mammaw became sick with Leukemia.

As I got older the calls became less frequent but I did do my best to call and check in on my grandparents on a weekly basis. I called to check on my Mammaw and her illness. I called to let them know what was going on in my busy chaotic world of racing. They were so proud of that. Their "darling" was involved in a sport that shutdown the house on Sunday's after dinner.  

But it still brings me back to the fact the feeling I feel knowing I will no longer dial that number. Over 30 years of dialing it and as of 2 weeks ago the number has been disconnected and no longer in service. Honestly, that is how I feel.....disconnected.

I will no longer hear my Pappaw's voice on the other end asking how "His Boy" (Brody) is doing and how "Sugarfoot" (myself) was getting along. I will no longer hear how I am missed or when am I coming to visit again. I will no longer say "Goodbye Pappaw, I love you" and I will never ever hear " I love you too, Sugarfoot".

I guess the moral of this tiny blurb of a blog is don't take the smallest things for granted because one day they may not seem so small.



The Princess Fairy and The Little Dragon

For Halloween this year I found the cutest costume at a consignment sale I went to last month. Brody is all about Dinosaurs and Dragons and I was lucky enough to find him a very nice and pricey Dragon costume for only $10! Great find if you ask me (consignment sales are the best--they rock).

Brody was beside himself when I told him what I bought for him and I have had to hide it in my closet for the past month so he wouldn't play with it! I am so glad Halloween is over now so he can have it to play with because it really is too cute to not use.

We did trick-or-treating a little early this year because he is so small and can't "hang" for very long. We hit about 7 houses and he was pooped and I was pooped from carrying him to the last few homes. He was happy with his loot so we came home and handed out candy to the trick-or-treaters. All in all it was a very good Halloween for the Beemer bunch!

Redder Regalement

We were lucky in the neighbor department recently when our old nerighbors retired and headed further south and sold their home to a family of 5....well, nine if you count their animals. The Redder family is a fun loving bunch that we enjoy hanging out with when we can; which is often because....well...they are right next door! They have 3 precious boys and the youngest is Brody's age so he has a partner in crime these days. The other two boys are sweet and a joy to be around. You have Jackson who is the creative artistic one and you have Nolan who is a little dare devil. Hudson the youngest is Brody's bestest "freend".

We had the Redder's over on Sunday to carve our pumpkins for Halloween so here are some pictures of our afternoon. We ended up having some pretty cool pumpkins but I may be a little partial : )

Happy Birthday Pappaw!

Today my Pappaw would have turned 80 years old. I am so lucky to have had him in my life for the past 32 years. I was his "Darling" and in his eyes I hung the moon. I will always remember our trips to Kure Beach, taking Sunday drives listening to CCR but most importantly I will remember how much he loved me. I am blessed that he was able to spend the past 3 years with Brody teaching him all the "old tricks" he taught me...."how the horsey eats the corn" , "I got your nose",  and "singing "Picking up Paw Paws".

Happy Birthday, Pappaw. You are loved and missed.

Georgia On My Mind and in My Heart

Got Georgia on my mind....can't wait to get back to my home, husband and daughter.

~ My Life and all things in it are good ~

Georgia, Georgia,
The whole day through
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind

I'm say Georgia
Georgia
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear
As moonlight through the pines

Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you

I said Georgia,
Ooh Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind

Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you

Georgia,
Georgia,
No peace, no peace I find
Just this old, sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind

I said just an old sweet song,
Keeps Georgia on my mind

James Martin Carriker (A Family Tribute)

Today we laid my Pappaw to rest and the following Eulogy was written and read by my Great Aunt Janet Green whom did a wonderful job this afternoon.


James Martin Carriker was born on October 26, 1931, to Allison Conner and Mary Elizabeth Cullins Carriker. He was their second son and fifth child. He was little brother to Nellie, Todd, Dean and Son and big brother to DeWitt, Ivey, Janet, Bill and Shelia. Named for both of his grandfathers, James Monroe Carriker and Martin Luther Carriker, he was proud of his heritage, coming from a strong Irish, German and Scottish lineages. Mama always felt like he looked like her side of the family with his dark Irish looks. He loved his big family and remembered fondly growing up during the hard depression years with a loving Mama and Daddy who managed to feed their household and any of their friends who happened to be at the house during meal time.

Jim was educated in Concord City schools; however, he had innate skills that were not taught in the classroom at that time. He understood construction and could build an addition to his house or even a garage with little or no training. He loved to refurbish old cars and trucks throughout his adult years and had an active business reselling them. It seemed he could do anything with his hands that one could ask of him. At an early age he went to work for Cannon Mills and later trained as an electrician. During his career, he worked as an electrician for both Cannon Mills and Jim Vending Company.

As a young man, Jim was infatuated with cars. I understand that he may have received a few tickets after he got his drivers license. He was even known to out run the police one night when he did a strange rigging of a bicycle inner tube to his tail pipe and evidently was disturbing the sleepy town of Concord's evening peace. The only problem was the police knew where we lived and was parked in the driveway when he got home. And as we all know that did NOT set well with Daddy. I can remember Mama telling me that after a boy turned 16, you just had to give them to God and let Him take care of him. I think she was referring to her errant son Jim, just to name one of them.

However, it did not take long for him to leave his adolescence behind him and settle down. He met Eva Bell Carroll, the love of his life, and they married shortly thereafter in April of 1951. She was his loving companion for 55 years until her death in 2006. They gave birth to their one and only child, James Delany Carriker, whom his Grandmother Carriker renamed Jimbo as a little boy. When he outgrew that "love name," we later called him Little Jimmy. Jim remained a proud Daddy as long as he lived, welcoming Terry into his family as his only daughter upon hers and Jimmy's marriage. The birth of a granddaughter, Jamie Cullins Carriker, gave him great delight. He eas her Pappaw, and she was his little darling. She did little to no wrong in his eyes and together they were quiet a pair. When she married Michael, he immediately became family as Jim's grandson and Victoria, his great granddaughter. They became part of his loving family. He lived to see little Brody, his great grandson, born and took great pride in telling me what a special little one he was and chuckled when he told me what mischief he could get into.

Jim's hobbies included hunting and fishing, collecting guns, NASCAR races, cars and the New York Yankees. He also loved listening to and singing Gospel music. He was one of the few Carrikers of our branch of the family who could carry a tune. He loved the Statler Brothers and the Statesman Quartets in particular. Jimmy had a hard time making him appreciate Rock music with the exception of the Creedance Clearwater Revival. He loved teaching Jamie and Brody their childhood songs.

Jim, as is characteristic in our family, loved children. He used to tease me and say "Just let me have Jay and Jann for about two weeks, and I will spoil them so badly, you will never get it out of them. I'll make them mean as snakes." He loved to tease and play with all of our children. He was always a supportive big brother to me, and I always loved seeing him. He and Eva always welcomed me into their home. When I needed to earn money to return to college between my freshman and sophmore years, they hired me as their summer babysitter for Jimmy. When Marty was running for Judge , they manned a voting station, believing in him and convincing others that he was the best man for the job. Those who knew Jim knew that if you did not want his full opinion on a subject that you better not ask him. He was a straight talker. He told you what he believed was "God's Truth".

Jim stole our hearts and at our last "Most Like Momma's Cooking Contest, when he won first place for the dish he entered in the contest. And he cooked it himself. He took probably the hardest dish he could have chosen and made it taste the most like Momma's. He even made her turnip greens and cornbread dumplings. However, we did learn his secret. He boldly told us that Eva Bell taught him how to make it. He said that after she got so sickand could not cookthat she would sit at the dining room table and would dictate every detailand technique he needed to know in order to cook their meals. And that was how he learned to make the turnip greens and dumplings.

When Jim was fearful that he may have had cancer last December, he told me he was ready to die and meet his maker, but he did not want to die. Once he was diagnosed he gave it a valiant fight. He told me more than once during his struggle that he had lived to see another day and was grateful. Although he was noticeably growing weaker, he told me just last week on Monday that his pain was great and each day was gift. We talked at length that day, sharing family stories and reminiscing about growing up. His mind was sharp, but his body was weak. Just three days later he was in a coma, fighting for every breath with Jimmy, Terry, Jamie and Brody rarely leaving his bedside. They were great caregivers (second to Scooter, his pet dachshund), giving back the love that they had known from him and Eva Bell.

Now Jim is cancer-free and joined Ivey this week in rejoicing in Paradise in  the loving and welcoming arms of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is now reunited with Eva Bell, Mama and Daddy, Todd and Ray, Dean and Elmer, Son and Frankie, Terry, Ivey and Dewey. He now knows that joy unspeakable. Let's work on trading in our grief for his joy and rejoice with him.

Written by:
Janet Green

Groupon Love and Painted Ladies

Several weeks back I purchased a Groupon that I couldn't pass up from Insect Lore. It was a coupon that was for hatching your own butterflies. I am not sure if "hatching" is the correct term (I'm sure it's not) but that is what it felt like we were doing.

I was probably more excited than anyone in our house when the larvae finally arrived! We had 5 tiny wormy like things that turned into HUGE caterpillars overnight. It was o-mazing! After a few days they do their thing and bundle up in a cocoon for several days. Before you know it you have 5 pretty orange butterflies fluttering around in your butterfly net house. It was so cool. We all enjoyed the experience....even us big kids! It is definitely worth buying the kit if your little ones love bugs! It's neat to see them start as little tiny worms and end up beautiful Painted Ladies!

Oh, My Darlin'

Well, I am on day #3 of taking care of my Pappaw and it's been a humbling experience. The once strong man that I thought could move mountains sits hunched over on his sofa looking like a bag of bones. His clothes are sagging and missing the once fuller figure they adorned.

Skin, Bones and pain patches are what my Pappaw currently consist of because of a terrible disease that we can't seem to find a cure for.....CANCER.

Pappaw was diagnosed with bone and lung cancer a little over a year ago. The lung cancer portion didn't come as a surprise because my Pappaw has been smoking close to 70 years (I believe he was 10 when he had his first cigarette); and a heavy smoker at that.

My parents have been caring for him over the past 12 months and it's been hard on them. My father is the only child so the support system we have to fall back on is rather small. My parents are worn out from multiple trips a day to his house to fix something that he has broken while being impaired by the heavy doses of drugs he has to take consume to help alleviate the pain from his rotting bones and lung.

The week before my Mother flew into Albany she suggested that I come home for a few weeks to help with Pappaw so they could have a little break. Both my Mother and Father are worn out and need some help and as their only child and as my Pappaw's only granddaughter it's what I should do...it's the right thing to do. I didn't help with my Mammaw like I should have so I wanted to do the right thing this time around.

I have only been here for 4 days and I am already exhausted so I don't see how my parents have dealt with this for an entire year! He has a ton of pills to keep up with as well as 3 different pain patched that have to be worn on a daily basis. His appetite is all over the place; some days he doesn't want to eat a thing and other days you can't bring enough food over to please his wants.

His mood is all over the place; as it should be. He has good days and bad days. Most days consist of both good and bad moods. He gets agitated easy so you feel like your walking on egg shells when you visit him. He tries his best to be in a good mood when I am there but I can tell when he just playing the part and is really in pain. Cancer pain can't easily be hidden; it's written all over the person.

My Pappaws once sun kissed skin is now an ugly shade of yellow and brown. He is bruised from his head to his toes. It looks like he was in a fight and came out of it as the loser. He is still smoking so his once silky white hair is now a distasteful shade of yellow; his nails are the same. At first I didn't understand how or why he would want to smoke after being diagnosed with cancer since that (smoking) was the obvious source of his disease but his prognosis is terminal so his thinking is what's the difference. He's going to die either way....might as well die happy doing what he likes to do; which is smoking a carton of cigerettes every 5 days.

I am so thankful that my I am able to take the time away from my daily life in Albany to come and spend some time with my Pappaw. I need some closure and I know that this is time that I will never get back. With living so far away it's realistic that I may not be here when he passes so I need to take this time to soak up as many memories as I can with him.

This man has been calling me "Pappaw's Darlin" as long as I can remember. And this "Darlin"will continue to help support him with the biggest battle of his life. He needs my support and strength. After all, he thinks I hung the moon and stars so I need to continue to do so as long as he lives. He took care of me growing up so now it's only natural I should take care of him when he's sick.....and that is exactly what I am going to do.

Pappaw's Darlin'

Today I will be heading back to Concord for two weeks to help take care of my ailing Pappaw. Last year he was diagnosed with lung and bone cancer and he is slowly getting more feeble.

My Dad is the only child so a lot has been put on my parents regarding Pappaw's care; he's not a really good "patient". Is is old, stubborn and set in his ways which most are not appropriate but that 's my Pappaw.

These two weeks will probably be the last "good" weeks that I will spend with him since he is going downhill on a weekly basis. Living 8 hours away is hard on  the heart because I know I can't be there as much as I would like to be so this trip is something I am looking forward to.

I am NOT looking forward to leaving Mike and Vicki for 10 days but they know this is something that I have to do. I will need closure in his passing and this is part of it. I don't want to sit here while he still has some good days and my only excuse is that I am 8 hours away. I don't know how well that would sit with me once he is gone.

I do pray that God keeps him as comfortable as he can and this isn't a long process where my Pappaw has to suffer more than he already is. He is in pain and it seems to get worse every week. Pain is entering areas like his arm/shoulder and foot where I am sure the cancer has now taken over once healthy bones. It's a sad situation but I am blessed to be able to go back home....this is what I need and maybe he does too.

My Little Vicki

As many of you know I have a beautiful step-daughter named Victoria. I really don't like to use the word "step-daughter" because in my mind she is my own flesh and blood. I met Miss Victoria as a sassy little girl who was being raised by a tender hearted Marine. It was a weird combination but I went with it and ultimately fell in love with both of them. Victoria captured my heart first and her father did years later.

Victoria and I have a unique relationship that really can't be expressed or put into words. We have been through or rough patches but what mother-daughter relationship doesn't have those?

She has blossomed from a little girl into a young lady the past 6 years and it amazes me how beautiful she is inside and out. It's hard to believe that this little elementary schooler is now starting high school this year. Where has the time gone?!?

I am a bit sad that she is entering high school because I know that our years with her at home are numbered to about four then she will be heading off to college (praying it's somewhere close to us) to pursue who dreams. At the moment she wants to be a pastry Chef but that could change like the color of her walls do every couple of years. Whatever she wants to be I will support because I love her with every ounce of my being.

Yesterday was her orientation for High School and as much as I complained about the chaos of the situation I believe that was my defense mechanism kicking in so I wouldn't burst into tears. Memories of my own high school years came flooding back and it's so refreshing to know she will be making her own wonderful memories in the near future. I am sure she will be an outstanding student (as always) as well as an active member in sports, band and clubs. Her outgoing and vibrant personality is contagious so she is always a popular kid to be around and she isn't hurting in the beauty department either (poor Mike).

So, I will wrap up by saying, I am a proud Mom to Miss Victoria and I hope her freshman year of high school is everything she wants it to be and more. I love her to pieces and I can't wait to share in the memory making of the next chapter of her life: High School.

Happy 3rd, Bugaboo!!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Brody....Mommy loves you!

'The Little One That Follows Me'
Author: Unknown

A careful woman, I ought to be;
a little one follows me.

I do not dare to go astray,
for fear they'll go, the self-same way.

I cannot once escape their eyes,

hatever they see me do, they'll try.

Like me, they say, they're going to be,
that little one that follows me.

They think that I am good and fine;
believe in every work of mine.

The bad in me they must not see;
my life to them, must, an example be.

I must remember, as I go,
through summer's sun and winter's snow,
I'm building for the years to be,
for that little one that follows me."

Packing Memories

Tomorrow we will be heading to Concord for a long weekend to celebrate Brody turning three! So that means I have been busy doing last minute loads of laundry and packing as I go.

I always feel so anxious when I pack for a trip because I always feel like I am not packing something I should and it's magnified by 100 when I am planning a party 8 hours away from home!

We decided to have Brody's party this year at my parents because a.) it's cooler there than here b.) our entire family and close friends live in Concord c.) and lastly (and the saddest) this is probably the last Birthday that my Pappaw will be able to celebrate with Brody.

I always tend to over pack which every single time I return home and have 50 loads of laundry to do I remind myself not to pack so much the next time....never fails....I still over pack.

With that being said, I better quit blogging and get back to packing!

Home.Sweet.Home

This morning I woke up early and decided to use the time for myself and catch up on TV and my computer while enjoying a fresh brewed cup of Kona coffee. As I was catching up on one of my favorite blogs; my dear friend Susie's. She mentioned that her husband made statement that hit me hard...."How are we ever going to live anywhere else?".....wow, that is a bold statement but a realistic one that has haunted my mind as well.

I ADORE  ALBANY (more like LEESBURG), GA.

Did I really just admit that??? I mean, this is the person who was terribly homesick (and still is) months ago and also the person who second guessed moving here. This is the person that cried the minute she walked into the front door, had a panic attack and was sent to the ER for heart palipations the very day we arrived on Doublegate Drive.

However, something has changed my mind and my heart about this quaint little town. Most people that were bred, born and raised here ask the same question "Why in the hell did you move here?".  I can't tell you the number of people I have heard that sentence from....more times than "Oh, you will love it here". I don't think I have ever heard that sentence uttered. Seriously.

Albany is very diverse and it's still very much small town living....although it is very divided it reminds you a bit of Andy Griffith times on occasion. Everyone knows everybody.... and their business. If there is something "shady" going on you will hear about it. People are cordial here and show manners that many large cities are lacking. It almost feels like you stepped back in time....that can be a good and bad thing.

I will be the first to admit that this small town does have it's own share of problems and inconviences. Race is very much a factor here and it seems that the town is still very much stuck in a 1950's "bubble". The phrase that comes to mind is "To each their own". The communities are still divided in a sense but I have never felt any animosity; although I am sure it's there in certain situations.

Living in the "Deep South" also means we are very much a part of the "Bible Belt" so being part of a church is a big thing. I think there is seriously more churches in this town than I can count on my two hands and feet. It's basically a ghost town during worship hours because people are attending a church service somewhere. However, if you ever want to skip church to get your grocery shopping done then that is the best time to do it because you are not part of a huge chaotic crowd....trust me, I have done it and it worked out well....no lines or aggrevation. However, if you are wanting to buy alcohol on that Sunday trip you are out of luck becuase there are no alcohol sales on Sunday in Albany....so you have to plan ahead if your wanting a drink while lounging by the pool or catching up on whatever sporting event is on TV that day.

We also live in what Georgia calls the "Plantation Trace" because there are tons of Plantations in the area. Agriculture is a big deal here and our biggest crops are Peanuts and Pecans. Quail hunting is also another big deal in these parts. We are also the only city in the WORLD to house a World Series MVP, Super Bowl MVP and an Olympic Gold Medalist....so I guess the city is doing something right. We are also the home of Paula Deen (yum!), Buster Posey (Go SF Giants!) and Ray Charles! I can't forget to mention the entire reason we moved here....the Marine Corps! Albany has one of the largest logistcal bases on the East Coast.

As far as educational things in the area we have The Parks at Chehaw (Zoo) and Flint RiverQuarium. There are several other things like the Civic Center, Museum of Art and several theatres of the arts that we haven't had the time to endulge in.....but in due time we will .We also have Albany Panthers which is a SIFL (Southern Indoor Football League) team.  For such a small city there is so much to do and see!

While all of those "perks" are fine and dandy it's not what made me fall in love with this city. My heart is in love with the house and neighborhood we live in. I am happy that our children seem to thrive in this enviroment. Victoria can't be in a better public school system than Lee County and she is so involved in school activities/sports that make her beam with pride. Brody loves his friends he has made in the area and even has a cute Geogia twang that echoes in my ears (ex: Drink =Draannk). I have met some great people whom I am lucky enough to consider really good and dear friends.

There is so much more than I even blogged about that I haven't had a chance to discover yet. I am excited about being here and I am hoping one day my parents can move closer to us because I share the same thought with Susie's husband JB....

"How are we ever going to live anywhere else?"

Cuteness

One of the major perks about being a Mom is all the sweetness that comes from your child's mouth. usually my child is bossing me around with his mouth and a "beady eyed" look but occasional something sweet pops out of his mouth like today.

Today was a "SKiDO" day so he was excited that he got to see the Fuller girls. My child is like a miniature Hugh Hefner....he loves all three of the girls but Mills is his "main squeeze". This started out as a love (him) / hate (her) relationship but I guess his charming ways have rubbed off on her....or it may be the fact that he let her drive his Ford F150 truck around the yard a couple of months back. Either way, I have a little guy on my hands who is head over heels for "his" Mills. He affectionately calls her "My Mills" when he talks to anyone about his love interest.

This afternoon when I picked my little guy up he went and told Miss Mills good-bye and she grabbed his cheeks and pulls his face to hers and planted a big kiss on his lips. I about died from the cuteness factor....I mean, seriously, that is entirely too sweet for words.

I also have to mention the other adorable thing that happened today after VBS.....Brody has "tickle bites". At first I had no idea what he was talking about but then I noticed he was pointing to his face which has a few mosquito bites on it from playing in the yard yesterday. Seriously, how cute is that!??!?!?

Tickle Bites.

I *LOVE* IT!!!!

Making Music

"God is a DJ, Life is a Dancefloor, Love is the Rhythm, You are the Music".

Wow! is all I have got to say with that quote that I ran across earlier this morning. It instantly made me smile because it rang true in my case. For the past several years the music I have been putting out was a sad set of notes. I wasn't the happy, thriving young lady that I once was. My family and I both missed the sweet melodies that once projected from my heart and soul. I was a lost soul just going through the motions of life. I would wake up every day without that "spark" I once had, do just what I had to do in order to survive, take care of my family only to go to sleep and repeat. I was in sad shape and so was my family and our relationship with one another. Our household was a very sad one and anyone that listened carefully could hear that echoing through the four walls of our house and our outwardly appearance. The worst part of the whole thing was that *I* was the one to blame for the "perfect storm" that was brewing. That storm finally came to a head several weeks ago when I could no longer go through the motions...my body was a mere 76 pounds, I was tired mentally & physically and I had hit my rock bottom.

I had a life changing experience two weeks ago that left me renewed, refreshed and ready to start life over again singing a new tune. I was able to take a break from my "real life" to focus solely on myself and my problems without the issues of my every day family life. I was able to get away from my household for 5 LONG days to take time to heal inwardly and outwardly. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who allowed me to remove myself from my family so I could take time for myself....time to fix me so I could fix our family. If that isn't a blessing I don't know what is.

After taking time out of my busy life to concentrate solely on me and my own faults I was able to see that I have been the root of all the chaos in our family. I was unhappy and miserable with myself and the music that I was putting out echoed loudly in the ears of my family and friends.  The only music they heard was a sad melody and that in return made them upset, unstable and on edge. Once again, all the ingredients for the "perfect storm".

I have learned more about myself in the past 2 weeks than I have in my 32 years on this earth. I have learned that I need to ask for help when I need it. I have learned that you can't heal overnight, deep scars and wounds take years to heal. I have learned to start putting myself first and doing that *isn't* selfish; it's what you have to do in order to stay healthy to take care of your family. I have learned your family really does know more than you do when you are at your lowest point in life. I have learned that your actions, sharp tongue and attitude rubs off on your family and in return they start reacting in a negative manner. I have learned that getting professional help isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. I have learned that FAMILY is the most important thing one can have. I have learned that love is unconditional if it's *true love*. I have learned that your children do love you unconditionally...Thank God. I have learned that at the end of the day no matter the riches you possess that you're no better than the homeless. I have learned to be humble and patient. I have learned that church really is good for the soul and that GOD is good....you just have to trust and believe in him. I have learned the power of prayer and that things happen on *his* time....not yours.

Above all, I have learned that the music I project is what my family dances to and for that very reason I am done with sad & angry lyrics....I am ready to dance to something joyful and uplifting. So you better get your dancing shoes ready because I have a lot of goodness to sing about!

xoxo

It's All Worth It

As many of my close friends and family know, Victoria and I are too much alike at times and butt heads often. She is your typical teenage drama queen and I am your typical Mom who "sweats the small stuff". The combo doesn't work well most of the time. One of us is always upsetting the other only to make up and be BFF's a couple of days from the initial blow up.

I love Victoria with every ounce of my being. She has always had a special place in my heart; long before her Dad and I ever became a couple and wound up married. She entered my life like a lightening bolt and things have never been the same since 2005.

She was a neighborhood kid who was looking for a playmate and mistakenly thought I would be the perfect partner in crime. Little did she know I was more than twice her age. However, I "adopted" her as my own and treated her like a daughter. We went shopping together, played together and I even threw her little parties once in a while. I had been told a couple of years before I met her that I may never be able to have children of my own due to medical issues so having her around was nice....it was even nicer that when I was worn out from hours of playtime I could send her on her merry little way home to get much needed rest!

Needless to say things happened and as Victoria and I grew closer so did my bond with her father. It was very strange how things worked out but I honestly couldn't have asked for a better outcome. I think the icing on the cake was when we had all went out for dinner at our favorite Hibachi grill and she made a wish on a penny and while throwing it in the fountain her dream was for the three of us to become a family...I guess someone was listening because that's exactly what happened.

As the years have passed our relationship has definitely been a non-stop roller coaster. Having many highs, lows and upside down moments but we always seem to come out on top smiling. It's a ride that I am willing to endure because my love for her and my husband runs deep into my soul.

Tonight I was reminded of how deep that love goes and it was refreshing and bittersweet. It was also a reminder that you don't have to give birth to a child in order to love them as your own and vice versa. Victoria went through a very painful dental procedure earlier today and things have been a little topsy turvy since coming home. She has had her good moments of feeling okay and some really nasty moments where she couldn't hold anything down. It's been one of those days where you need your 'Momma" and I can honestly say that today has been one of the first days where that feeling came back and I didn't feel like the enemy.

I was asked to stay by her side while she napped in our bed (she and I are still in it). I held her hand and rubbed her belly to help pass the uneasy feeling she had after taking her medicine. I have been her caregiver for most of the evening and in the process I was reminded of why I do what I do for her and why I "sweat the small stuff". I am her "Momma" and every little girl needs theirs once in a while no matter how old you get or when you don't always seem to see eye to eye.

She needed me and it was a wonderful feeling...and I think a piece of me needed her, too.

Momma's Coming Home...

The day is FINALLY here....My Momma is coming to see me!!! I have not seen my parents since Christmas and I have been missing both of them terribly. We traded in some frequent flyer miles so Mom could make the visit for a couple of days and I couldn't be happier. As many of you know my Pappaw has terminal cancer so someone has to stay with him at all times. Sadly, that means I can only see one of my parents at a time unless we go home (which we are next week * super yay*). Like me, my Daddy is the only child so a lot has been put on his shoulders when it comes to my Pappaw's illness. Luckily, he didn't mind letting Mom come to Georgia for a long weekend to visit. I think she needs the break and a Brody fix quiet honestly. 

I have a lot of fun things planned as long as Mother Nature cooperates! We have had rain here all week and I am so.over.it! I can only take grey skies for so long before it starts making me depressed. It is supposed to start clearing up this afternoon and continue to be beautiful throughout the weekend....however, the weather here changes in a minute so I am not betting on it. Last weekend it was in the 80's and then turned to turbulent weather which has lasted 4 looonnnggggg days. 

I know Mom will be perfectly happy sitting in the house all weekend playing with Brody but for my sanity we will need to get out some. I am hoping that tomorrow we can go eat with Susie and Miss Annelise at "The Cookie Shoppe" because it's the most fabulous food I have ever eaten when it comes to a sandwich shoppe. Momma appreciates small town things like that so I am sure she will enjoy it as much as Susie and I do! I also have to go to Mark's Melon Patch because Daddy wants some more chow-chow and I guess he liked the jar he picked up from there the last time they visited. I am not really sure what else is on the agenda for the weekend but I am sure it will be something fun.

I am also so excited about our bedroom getting painted this weekend!! Finally the ugly Pea Green soup color will be covered with a beautiful shade of aqua/green/teal color. Mike and I had some trouble agreeing on a color but we finally chose something we both liked. This is a new color for both of us so I am hoping it turns out as good as it looks in my mind.

I have not had any time to really blog this week but I got a Cricut bundle from my sweetie. He is so, so, so good to me and I really shouldn't complain about him as much as I do at times. He is so thoughtful and loving and I need to be better about showing my appreciation for it. I truly know I am very blessed and have the perfect partner, husband and best friend. He is my everything and I would be so lost without him. 

I better start getting ready so I can make the 3 hour drive to Atlanta with Brody to get our Nannee! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! 

(Oh, and honey....I am in love with the darling bird necklace above. Click the link to check out the site on Etsy. Hint Hint!) 

Life is a journey....travel it well.

Life is a journey and needs to be traveled well and lately mine hasn't been. The past few years have been very hard for me and has been a non-stop roller coaster. I have had many highs and some very low points the past 10 years and all of it has either made me a stronger person or taught me a lesson that needed to be learned. I have always been on the "right path" in life but I have had my share of little detours but thanks to age (and my Momma) I have been able to see the light and got myself back on the path that I was intended to be on.

I don't know if getting sick for 5 very long days was an epiphany of some sort but it was definitely a wake up call and I have been trying to get in gear since last Friday. I have stopped taking all of my medicines that my Doctor had me on (anxiety/depression/chronic pain/appetite enhancer) except for my Lunesta which I have to take in order to sleep. I wanted to take a break from all of those mind/thought/feeling suppressants and see how I can act without them. I hate feeling "numb" from them and I wanted to see what it felt like being me without all of the chemicals involved. Right now it seems to be working well and I honestly have NEVER felt better!!! I feel so free and I can actually "feel" again and when I need to cry the tears come....I am no longer "numb" and I am praying I can keep it that way. I know there may be a time when I may need help again but I am really going to do it naturally instead of chemically. So enough of that boring stuff and on to the more interesting things about my week so far and good things that are on the horizon! 

Vic won her soccer game on Monday (yay) and we have one on Thursday that I am hoping we can make. Not so sure though because it's over an hour away and she really digs riding the bus home after the game with the team so she's cool with us not going to away games. They have had a great season with only one loss and we couldn't be any prouder of her than we are now. She's keeping her grades up, keeps herself out of trouble, stays involved with sports, band and FCA. She is such a great and sweet kid. I need to really stop sweating the small stuff that she is doing that annoys the ever living crap out of me (Thanks OCD & Teenage Hell) and enjoy the next few years we have of her left at home! Her next couple of weeks will be really busy because they have the "Trojan Trot" that her soccer team is running to help raise funds for their athletic program at school. The Lady Trojan soccer team has been invited to play in a tournament in several weeks so she's really excited about that. 




Brody is thriving here too and growing like a weed. He is enjoying being a constant fixture at his Sissy's soccer games and he's her number one fan. He has also enjoyed attending the Dixie T-Ball League games we frequent to support Susie & John's son, Will. It's a great family "date" and it's basically a weekly thing that everyone does around here. Baseball is BIG in the south...like almost to a point of insane. These people eat, breath, sleep and breed their offspring to play ball. Whew, glad we figured that out NOW so we can start helping Brody learn how to play the game.  Brody told us tonight that he was going to play T-Ball and was "gonna be guuud at it"! I love him and yes, baby, you will be awesome.


Ah, living in the Deep South is more and more starting to feel like home. I so wish my parents were here to live this life with us. It's an amazing experience and one I am so blessed and thankful about. It is my heaven on earth. Honestly. Everyone should get to experience this just once.....just once and they would be hooked.


Goodnight Y'all. Don't let the gnats bite ;)