December 16, 2013

Ferocious Fives

As a parent my most dreaded stage was the "Terrible Two's" because I had always been told that it's one of the worst stages you would go through with your child. It's the stage where they were tiny terrors and were basically unmanageable. Terrible Two's came and went for us and we had NO problems. I considered myself lucky because I flew through Brody's second year on this earth with a sweet child who listened to me and was a pleasure 95% of the time. I thought that if we got through that phase unscathed then we wouldn't have any bumps in the road until his teenage years which was quiet some time away! Little did I know that there would be another stage that would make me question my sanity and desire to be a parent.

I call this stage the "Ferocious Fives". This stage is far worse than the "Teenage Years" because I have already been there and done that with Victoria. This stage I was not prepared for because nobody forewarned me that this would even be a "stage" to worry about. Maybe this is payback because he was so lovely being two?? I am not sure but the one thing I am sure about is that I absolutely LOATHE this stage! I feel like I am already dealing with a teenager some days because he talks back to me like one. I tell him to do something and he responds "never" or "don't tell me what to do". He also deliberately does something that I tell him not to do just to push my buttons. I know my son is not deaf but he sure does a good job of acting like he can't hear me. Sometimes I think he goes out of his way just to irritate the ever living crap out of me -- like he enjoys pushing my buttons!

I know that I can't be the only parent dealing with this because I've seen Facebook status updates of fellow friends that are venting the same issues. I think instead of warning soon-to-be parents about the "Terrible Two's" you should be warned of the "Ferocious Fives"! I've tried handling this stage at every different angle you could imagine. I've spanked him, scolded him, pinched him, grounded him, timed-out him, told Dad to handle him, called Santa on him, ignored him, paid more attention to him, played with him.....I have "him-ed" the crap out of him. None of it works!! I am seriously at my wits end; I do not know what else to do. All I know is that I am praying that this phase miraculously vanishes the day he turns six because I don't think I could take another year of it (at least not back-to-back)!!!

With that being said, we have had some good days mixed in with the crazy ones. He's starting to have a few loose teeth and his bottom front tooth is only days away from popping out! We've really been playing up the Tooth Fairy so that has been fun and he's excited about her visit! We have also had a blast with the Elf this holiday season even though Elf has threatened not to come back on several occasions. He had the most precious Christmas program at school last week and did a great job singing his carols. He's also quiet the charmer and ladies man; he's learned to wink so he is using that to his advantage. His personality is a funny complex one that I love the crap out of most days so I just keep telling myself that this crazy "stage" is almost done and to embrace it while it's here. Easier said than done.

So friends, please pray for me until this "stage" is over because this Momma needs it! I will do the same for those of you that are going through your "stages"....whatever age it is.

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