It's All Worth It

As many of my close friends and family know, Victoria and I are too much alike at times and butt heads often. She is your typical teenage drama queen and I am your typical Mom who "sweats the small stuff". The combo doesn't work well most of the time. One of us is always upsetting the other only to make up and be BFF's a couple of days from the initial blow up.

I love Victoria with every ounce of my being. She has always had a special place in my heart; long before her Dad and I ever became a couple and wound up married. She entered my life like a lightening bolt and things have never been the same since 2005.

She was a neighborhood kid who was looking for a playmate and mistakenly thought I would be the perfect partner in crime. Little did she know I was more than twice her age. However, I "adopted" her as my own and treated her like a daughter. We went shopping together, played together and I even threw her little parties once in a while. I had been told a couple of years before I met her that I may never be able to have children of my own due to medical issues so having her around was nice....it was even nicer that when I was worn out from hours of playtime I could send her on her merry little way home to get much needed rest!

Needless to say things happened and as Victoria and I grew closer so did my bond with her father. It was very strange how things worked out but I honestly couldn't have asked for a better outcome. I think the icing on the cake was when we had all went out for dinner at our favorite Hibachi grill and she made a wish on a penny and while throwing it in the fountain her dream was for the three of us to become a family...I guess someone was listening because that's exactly what happened.

As the years have passed our relationship has definitely been a non-stop roller coaster. Having many highs, lows and upside down moments but we always seem to come out on top smiling. It's a ride that I am willing to endure because my love for her and my husband runs deep into my soul.

Tonight I was reminded of how deep that love goes and it was refreshing and bittersweet. It was also a reminder that you don't have to give birth to a child in order to love them as your own and vice versa. Victoria went through a very painful dental procedure earlier today and things have been a little topsy turvy since coming home. She has had her good moments of feeling okay and some really nasty moments where she couldn't hold anything down. It's been one of those days where you need your 'Momma" and I can honestly say that today has been one of the first days where that feeling came back and I didn't feel like the enemy.

I was asked to stay by her side while she napped in our bed (she and I are still in it). I held her hand and rubbed her belly to help pass the uneasy feeling she had after taking her medicine. I have been her caregiver for most of the evening and in the process I was reminded of why I do what I do for her and why I "sweat the small stuff". I am her "Momma" and every little girl needs theirs once in a while no matter how old you get or when you don't always seem to see eye to eye.

She needed me and it was a wonderful feeling...and I think a piece of me needed her, too.