May 25, 2011

Lost in Translation

It has occurred to me that my family and I are "lost in translation". Words are coming out of my mouth that either come out wrong or are heard wrong. Feelings get hurt, buttons are pushed and then the bickering starts. It's a continuous cycle that has to STOP now. I can't take it any longer and I know my family can't either. We are all walking on eggshells and seconds away from running for a box of Kleenex. It's bad.

I ran across this "How to Work Better" picture on one of my favorite websites for cool pictures, Favim. It has an awesome list of the things that the Beemer house needs to work yesterday. 

1. DO ONE THING AT A TIME: I find myself always taking on task after task and all that is a bad combo. It does nothing but stress me out and make me irritable. The only problem with following this little hint is that being a Mom you are constantly multi-tasking to get things done. If I didn't take on a handful of projects at one time nothing would ever get done. Ever. 

2. KNOW THE PROBLEM:Okay, this is a BIGGIE that we need to work and me in particular. Anyone that is a parent of a teenager and a wife to someone that holds it all in struggles with this on a daily basis. You can't read a teenager and you can't read a person who doesn't express their worries. A teenage girl is the worst for this because there are so many issues in one 24 hour time frame that it's impossible to know what she's upset about. One minute it's because a stain is on her shirt and the next it's because her eyebrows aren't arched right. It's crazy. I am on the
"Teenage Roller Coaster" and it's something that I have to learn to deal with and live with for the next few years. Somedays I wish I were a mind reader because it would make this task much easier. 

3. LEARN TO LISTEN : Okay, so this isn't one of my strong points. Actually, I suck at it. My mind is going a million miles a minute and sometimes I am "listening" to what you are saying but I am not "hearing" it. I would say 4 times out of 10 my mind is probably elsewhere while I am being talked to by a family member. I am thinking about what I have to do next...what's for "thought list" goes on for days so I will just stop. I am really, really, really bad at this when it comes to Victoria. She comes home at mach speed talking a mile a minute and my brain (and ears) just malfunction. It's like overload. I get so overwhelmed that I shut down and the highlights of her day fall on deaf ears. It's not intentional because I truly want to hear about her day but something about it all flowing out of her mouth the second she gets in the door puts my system in overload. I just shut down. I need to work on this ASAP.

4. LEARN TO ASK QUESTIONS : I am pretty good at this. I like to know what's going on and every single detail of the situation. But I need to learn to ask the RIGHT questions. Like the softer side of Jamie questions. "How was your day?" "What's on your mind?" instead of my "What's for homework" "Can you take out the trash"...Instead of a sweet caring guidance counselor I come off as drill sergent. Yeah, gotta work on that.

5. DISTINGUISH SENSE FROM NONSENSE : Is this kind of like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"??? If so, fail. 

6. ACCEPT CHANGE AS INEVITABLE : Jamie doesn't do change very well. That is the OCD trait in me. I don't like change, I want everything to have a schedule, I do not "go with the flow". I like order and change doesn't fall in that category. I know that change is inevitable and I know I need to be a little more laid back because things change...things come is never set in stone or on your schedule. 

7. ADMIT MISTAKES : Eeeekkk!!! Nails on a chalkboard. Nobody in their right mind likes to admit their faults and mistakes. NOBODY. This is something everyone on the entire planet earth needs to work on. 

8. SAY IT SIMPLE : Is that even possible for a Southerner?!?!? I mean, really? We add words to a normal sentence and it comes out 10x longer than it really should. Example: "Victoria, please go upstairs and pick up your floor, straighten your closets, take out your trash, make your bed" when really I could just say "Go clean your room". However, sometimes simple doesn't work in our household so I need to learn to pick and choose the times I follow this rule. I do get what it's saying though so I will try to do a better job of keeping it short, simple and sweet

9. BE CALM : Hold on, I need to clean up the coffee that just spewed out of my mouth while typing that. Me, calm? Yeah, that is a "Hell to the No". Being calm means I am either sick or I am dead. I don't function that way but I guess I need to start before my blood pressure becomes an issue and I die from a heart attack...or I am admitted to a mental ward. I guess I need to keep my fingers crossed and hope my happy medicine works because this isn't something that I can change. It's in my DNA and I don't think I have ever had a calm bone in my body. I am leaving it up to the meds on this one. 

10. SMILE : My laugh lines are already deep enough...I don't need a gully on my face. Just kidding. I know I need to make a better effort to turn my frown upside down. Plus, isn't it easier to smile than frown?!? I am willing to try anything that lightens my load.

So, there is my therapy session for the week. I will try to follow these 10 little tidbits to make my life (and the life of my family members) more enjoyable. I will keep you posted on how it works out for me. 

1 comment:

  1. Hhhmm.. maybe I need to print this out poster-size.. no wallpaper-size and put it up in my house..